18++ 30 Sep 2005

A lady goes to the doctor and complains her husband is losing interest
in sex. He gives her a pill but warns her it is still experimental. He
tells her to slip it in his mashed potatoes at dinner and she does.

About a week later she's back at the doctor and says, "The pill worked
great. I put it in his mashed potatoes like you said. It wasn't five
minutes later and he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes on the
floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off and ravaged me right there
on the table."

The doctor says, "I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was that strong.
The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."

The lady replied, "Naah, That's okay. We aren't going back to Denny's
anyway."

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 29 Sep 2005

There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins. It's Friday night and
Gladys
looks at Betty and says, "I'm not going to die a virgin... I'm going out
and
I'm not coming home 'til I've been laid!!"

Betty says, "Well, make sure you're home by 10 so I don't worry about
you."

10 o'clock rolls around and there's no sign of Gladys... 11 o'clock...
12 o'clock...

Finally about 15 after 1 the front door flies open. In runs
Gladys... straight to the bathroom.

Betty goes and knocks on the door, "Are you okay, Gladys??"

No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with her panties
around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck between her legs
looking at herself.

"What is it, Gladys??? What's wrong?" asks Betty.

"Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in... and 5 when it came out.
When I find the other half you're gonna have the time of your life!!!"

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But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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**********************************************************************

18++ 28 Sep 2005

This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat. His
wife
asked, "Where are you going?"
He said "I'm going to the doctor."
"Why, are you sick?"
"No" he said, "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater,
and he said "Where are you going?"
She said "I'm going to the doctor too; if you're going to start using
that rusty old thing again, I'm going to get a tetanus shot."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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**********************************************************************

18++ 27 Sep 2005

A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to
her,
draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer! The woman goes into
her
supervisor's office, tells him what the coworker does, and that she
wants to
file a sexual harassment suit against the man.

The supervisor is puzzled by this and asks, "What's sexually threatening
about a coworker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "He's a midget!"

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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**********************************************************************

18++ 26 Sep 2005

Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off
his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks
by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his
erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: "Sir, did you
call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" She says: "You must
be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here that if I give you an
erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she then leads him to
the side of a pool, lays down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and
happily lets him have his way with her.

Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down,
and farts. Within a few seconds a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man
with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him. The Huge Man
says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?"
The Huge Man: "You must be new here; it is a rule that when you fart, it
implies you called for me." The huge man then easily spins Bob around,
bends him over the bench and has his way with him.

Bob rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling naked
receptionist: "May I help you?" Bob says: "Here is your card and key
back. You can keep the $500 joining fee." Receptionist: "But Sir, you've
only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our
facilities....."Bob replies: "Listen lady, I am 58 years old, I get a
hard-on twice a month, but I fart 15 times a day. No thanks."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 23 Sep 2005

In a mining district, Mrs.. Brown presented her husband with a 12 pound
baby
boy. Mr. Brown was so delighted that he went to the newspaper office and
told them that he had found a 12 pound gold nugget, as pure as any in
America. Naturally, the newspaper sent a reporter to the house to get
the
story, as anyone would do, and everyone was prospecting for gold in the
little town. This is what happened.

Reporter: "Does Mr. Brown live here?
She: "He does."
He: "Is he in?"
She: "No."
He: "I understand that he found a nugget of gold weighing 12 pounds."
She: (Seeing the joke) "Yes, he found one."
He: "Can you show me the spot where he found it?"
She: "I'm afraid Mr. Brown would object, as it is private."
He: "Is the hole very far from here?"
She: "No, it is quite near."
He: "Has Mr. Brown been working the claim long?"
She: "No, only about ten months."
He: "Has he reached the bottom yet?"
She: "No, but he is very near."
He: "Was Mr. Brown the first to work it?"
She: "Well, he thinks he was."
He: "Has he been working the claim regularly since he found it?"
She: "No, but I told him last night it was time to start again."
He: "I suppose he works it secretly?"
She: "Yes, mostly every night."
He: "Do you help him?"
She: "I do my best."
He: "Do you think he will sell the claim?"
She: "I doubt it, he gets so much pleasure out of working it."
He: "Did he blast it out with nitroglycerine?"
She: "No, he used Vaseline and kept digging."
He: "Has he widened the hole any?"
She: "Yes, a little."
He: "How big is the hole?"
She: "Well, about normal size, I suppose."
He: "Is he going to improve the mine any?"
She: "Yes, he said he was going to white wash the shaft tonight."
He: "Does he work alone at night?"
She: "No, I hold it for him and we split 50/50."
He: "Is he an expert at it?"
She: "Well, he does good work."
He: "Would you mind showing me the gold nugget?"
She: "Certainly." (Then she brought out the 12 pound baby boy and they
carried the reporter to the hospital.)

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
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**********************************************************************

18++ 22 Sep 2005

One day a trucker is driving the last leg of a very long road trip when
he sees a hitchhiker on the side of the road.

He picks up the hitchhiker and they drive on.

The hitchhiker says thats a cool pet monkey you have there.

Trucker says yeah he's cool wanna see him do a trick??

The hitchhiker says "Sure."

So the trucker hits the monkey on the back of the head and the monkey
starts giving the trucker a blow job. Anyway the trucker cums then asks
the hitchhiker if hed like to give it a try.

The hitchhiker stops and thinks a moment then says "Sure, but you dont
have to hit me on the head......."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 21 Sep 2005

A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the
husband looked at his wife and said, "I gotta have you!"

He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and
ravaged her. He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled
more than she ever had before. When he finished, he started putting his
clothes back on, when he noticed his wife still writhing against the
door.

He said, "That was the best, honey. You've never moved like that before,
you didn't hurt yourself did you?"

His wife said, "No, no. I'll be OK once I can get the doorknob out of my
ass."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 20 Sep 2005

A married guy was out getting a little kinky sex when he suffered a
massive heart attack and died...

The undertaker called his wife as he was preparing the body, saying
"Your late husband died with a tremendous erection that we can't get to
go away... What would you like us to do?"

To which she replied, "Somehow that doesn't surprise me... Cut it off
and stuff it in his ass."

When she went to view the body she noticed a somewhat pained expression
on her deceased husband's face as he lay in the casket...

Bending over him she said softly, "Hurts, doesn't it?"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 19 Sep 2005

Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, "My name is Larry
and I am a SNAG." Another guy says, "What's that?" The first guy says,
"That means I am a Single, New Age Guy."

Another one says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINK. A girl asks,
"What's
that?" He says, "That means I am a Double Income, No Kids."

A lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I am a WIFE." Larry
says, "A WIFE? What's a WIFE?" She says, "That means, "Wash, Iron, Fuck,
Etc."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 16 Sep 2005

A man is having a check up, and his Doctor broaches the subject of safe
sex. It turns out this fellow is very concerned about it he asks the
doctor if she can see anything wrong with his methods.

"First, I _always use a condom."

"Well, that's great!" affirms the doc.

"Yeah, sometimes two or three. Oh, I use other barriers too"

The doctor asks, "Oh? Which other barriers?"

"Well, Sometimes I use one of those Level-1 Hazardous Matierial Clean-up
suits, sometimes I were a space suit, but sometimes I just wear heavy
neoprene gloves and a Welder's apron."

The Doctor tries to be tactful, "You're certianly being safe, but I can
see where your partner might have be concerned that you're being
insensative."

And the guy sez, "Partner? what partner?"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 15 Sep 2005

Two eight-year-old boys played in a vacant lot everyday, and across
the street was a brothel. Day after day they saw men go up, knock on
the door, go in, and eventually come out happy and smiling. One day
they became curious and decided to see what was going on. The madam
answers the door and looks down at the boys, and asks what they want.
They explain what they saw, and tell her that they are curious as to
what goes on inside.

The Madam thinks for a moment, shrugs, and says, "Do you have 5
dollars?"

Both boys dig deep into their pockets and come up with a total of
50 cents. She says, "OK, that will have to do," as she proceeds to lift
her skirt and pull down her panties. She tells both boys to take a
sniff, which they do. She closes the door and the kids proceed home.

About halfway down the block one boy turns to the other and says,
"Ya know Joey, I don't think I coulda stood 5 dollars worth of that."

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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**********************************************************************

18++ 14 Sep 2005

A man's wife was in the hospital from a horrible accident. She had been
in a coma for almost 6 months and wasn't expected to live. But one day,
the nurse was giving the woman her daily sponge bath, and she noticed
the woman seemed to stir a little and try to make some sounds whenever
the nurse washed around her pussy!

The nurse called the doctor in and told him what had happened. The
doctor called the husband and told him the good news: maybe his wife was
coming out of the coma!

The doctor thought about what to do, then told the husband his plan.

The doctor would arrange for the man and woman to be given a private
room for an indefinite length of time. The doctor and nurse would be
outside in the hall watching the woman's vital signs on their equipment.

The doctor told the husband, "We want you to spend some time with your
wife....quality time, if you know what I mean. We think she might
respond to oral sex. I want you to try it and we'll see if she
responds."

The husband was so happy, he agreed on the spot to try the experiment
the next day. Soon, the husband was in the private room with his wife,
and the doctor was outside monitoring the equipment. All of a sudden,
the heart monitor sounded! The woman's heartbeat was becoming erratic,
then it slowed, then it flatlined completely!

The doctor pounded on the door, yelling at the husband to let him in
quickly.

But by the time the doctor made it in, the woman was dead. The doctor
asked the husband, "What happened? What did she do?" The husband looked
at the doctor....looked at his poor dead wife....looked back at the
doctor... and said......

" I don't know! I was doing just fine for awhile. I guess she musta
choked!"

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from great leaders.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 13 Sep 2005

A man returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi
at the airport after midnight, and while en route to his home, asked
the
driver if he would be a witness, as he suspected his wife was having
an
affair, and expected to catch her in the act.

The driver agreed, and they both tiptoed into the bedroom, turned on
the
lights pulled the blanket back and found the wife in bed with another
man.

The husband put his gun to the man's head, and the wife shouted,
"Don't do
it, this man has been very generous. Who do you think paid for the
Corvette
I said I bought for you, and who do you think paid for our new boat?
He did!"

The husband, looked over at the cab driver, and said, "What would you
do
in a case like this?"

The cabbie smiled, and said, "I'd cover him up before he catches
cold."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 12 Sep 2005

Hold Onto Your Hat

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding
her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not
intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing
up in this high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto
this hat."

"But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!"
said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied,
"Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just
bought this hat yesterday!"

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 9 Sep 2005

After a few years of married life , this guy finds that he is unable to
perform anymore. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few
things but nothing works.

Finally the doctor says to him "this is all in your mind", and refers
him to a psychiatrist. After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink
confess, "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured."

Finally the psychiatrist refers him to witch doctor.

The witch doctor tells , "I can cure this", and throws some powder on a
flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke........ The witch
doctor says "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a
year! All you have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as
you wish!"

The guy then asks the witch doctor "What happens when it's over?"

The witch doctor says "all you have to say is '1234' and it will go
down. But be warned it will not work again for a year!"

The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with
the good news....... So, he is lying in bed with her and says "123", and
suddenly he gets an erection.

His wife turns over and says "What did you say '123' for?"

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
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**********************************************************************

18++ 8 Sep 2005

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He
lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the
second half of his roundtrip ticket -- If he could just get to the
airport he could get himself home.

So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting.
He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send
the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his
drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail.

The cabbie said (adopt appropriate accent), "If you don't have fifteen
dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to
hitch hike to the airport and barely caught his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain
his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big.
Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the
casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.

Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but
his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his
luck.

The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay
for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in
the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport?" he
asked.

"Fifteen bucks," came the reply.

"And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?"

"What?! Get the hell out of my cab."

The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked
the same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and
asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied "fifteen
bucks." The businessman said "Okay," and off they went.

Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman
gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 7 Sep 2005

A man went to his doctor, seeking help for his terrible addiction to
cigars.
The doctor was quite familiar with his very compulsive patient, so
recommended an unusual and quite drastic form of aversion therapy.

"When you go to bed tonight, take one of your cigars, unwrap it, and
stick
it completely up your butt. Then remove it, rewrap it, and place it back
with all the others, in such a fashion as you can't tell which one it
is.
The aversion is obvious, you won't dare smoke any of them, not knowing
which
is the treated cigar."

"Thanks doc, I'll try it." And he did. But three weeks later he came
back
and saw the doctor again.

"What? My recommendation didn't work? It was supposed to be effective
even
in the most addictive of cases, such as yours is!" answered the doctor.

"Well, it kind of worked, doc. At least I was able to transfer my
addiction," replied the patient.

"What is that supposed to mean?" demanded the doctor.

"Well, I don't smoke cigars anymore, but now I can't go to sleep at
night
unless I have a cigar shoved up my butt."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
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**********************************************************************

18++ 6 Sep 2005

They had been having a few beers at the bar together recounting old
times when the call of nature caused them to line up at the same time,
still deep in conversation. But Fred could hardly ignore the fact that
Chas was very well endowed.

"I say, that's a remarkable donger you have there old boy," Fred was
prompted to remark.

"Wasn't always that way," replied Chas. "Medical science can do wonders
with transplants these days," he said. "I got this done over in Harley
St, England. Cost a thousand bucks, but as you can see, well worth every
cent."

Fred was envious. In fact, he packed his bag that night and flew off to
the Old Dart first thing.

It was a good six months later before he ran into his old friend once
again and Fred could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken his
advice and was well pleased with the result.

"But Chas, I will tell you something else," said Fred. "You were
diddled.

I got mine for $500, not a thousand."

Chas could hardly believe it. Same address in Harley St, same doctor.
Complaining that he had been ripped off, he asked Fred if he could have
a look.

Once more they lined up at the porcelain and when Chas took a peek over
the partition the worried frown which had creased his face disappeared.

"No wonder," he laughed. "That's my old one!"

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
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**********************************************************************

18++ 5 Sep 2005

A wedding occurred, just outside Cavan in Ireland. To keep tradition
going,
everyone got pissed and the bride's and groom's families had a storming
rage
and begin wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the crap out
of
each other. The police get called in to break up the fight.
The following week, all members of both families appear in court. The
fight
continues in the court room until the Judge finally brings calm with the
use of
his hammer, shouting "Silence in Court."
The court room goes silent and Paddy (the best man) stands up and says,
"Judge.. I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain
what
happened."
The Judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand. Paddy begins his
explanation
by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding that the
Best
Man gets the first dance with the Bride.
The judge says "OK."
"Well", said Paddy, "After I had finished the first dance, the music
kept
going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the
music kept
going and I was dancing to the third song.. when all of
a sudden the Groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the
Bride an
unmerciful kick in her privates."
The Judge instantly responded... "Wow.. that must have hurt!"
Paddy replies "HURT!.. He broke three of my fingers!"

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 2 Sep 2005

The boy takes his girlfriend back home after being out together. They
reach the front door. He leans with one hand on the wall and says,
"Sweetie, how about a blowjob?"

"What?? You're crazy!"

"Don't worry, hon, no one'll see!"

"Yeah they will! We're on the front door step for crying out loud!
Someone will see!"

"Not at this time of night, babe, c'mon, no one'll show up!"

"No, no, no! I don't want someone to see!"

"Baby, you'll love it, too, c'mon, I know you will."

"No, no!"

"Cmon, love, don't be like that, c'mon."

At that moment, the door opens and the girl's younger sister shows up at
the door in her nightgown. Her hair's totally in disorder. She's
rubbing
her eyes.

She yawns and says, "Dad told me to tell you to blow him, or I've got to
blow him, or he's come down and blow him himself, but, for God's sake,
tell your boyfriend to get his hand off of the damn intercom button!"

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18++ 1 Sep 2005

A man goes to the doctor's office because his penis is orange.

The doctor runs a battery of tests on the patient to determine the cause
of his mis-colored member. After all these tests, no medical reason for
the discoloration can be found. The doctor explains this to the patient.

Then he asks the patient about his daily habits, trying to get a clue
about his orange colored penis.

"What about work? Do you work with chemicals or something?" asks the
doctor.

"No" replies the man, "I lost my job about 8 months ago."

"Then what do you do all day?" says the doctor.

"Well, I usually just sit around the apartment watching porno flicks and
eating Cheetos."

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from great leaders.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
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As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
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chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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