18++ 30 Jun 2005

A cop sees a car weaving all over the road and pulls it over. He walks
up to
the car and sees a nice-looking woman (blonde, of course) behind the
wheel.
There is the strong smell liquor on her breath.

He says, 'I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you
are
under the influence of alcohol.'

She blows up the balloon, and he walks it back to the police car. After
a
couple of minutes he returns to her car and says, 'It looks like you've
had a
couple of stiff ones.'

She replies, 'You mean it shows that, too?'

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
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Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 29 Jun 2005

Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall
where a flower show was in progress. One leaned over and said, "Life is
so darned boring. We never have any fun anymore. For $5.00, I'd take my
clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!"
"You're on!" said the other old lady, holding up a $5.00 bill.

As fast as she could, the first little old lady fumbled her way out of
her clothes and, completely naked, streaked through the front door of
the flower show. Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion
inside the hall, followed by loud applause. The naked lady burst out
through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd. "What happened?" asked
her waiting friend.

"I won 1st prize as Best Dried Arrangement."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 28 Jun 2005

One day, a blonde who lived on the 12th floor of a high-rise apartment
building was out on her balcony, flapping the bedsheets to air them
out, when suddenly a great gust of wind caught the sheets and sent her
over the edge, plummeting to a sure death..."Oh, shit!" the woman
thought, "what a stupid way to die."

Without warning, a man on the 10th floor balcony stuck his arms out
into the air, catching the woman. Delirious from shock, the woman
shouted "Oh, thank you! You saved my life, thank you!"

The man replied "Do you suck?"

Stunned at this, the woman said "No, I don't suck!"

And with that, the man let go of her in the air. "Shit!" the woman
thought as she began to plummet again. Suddenly, another set of man's
arms grabbed her on the 9th floor.

"Thank God!" she screamed. " I would have died except for that!"

The man asked "Do you fuck?"

Absolutely aghast at the question, the woman answered "No, I don't
fuck!"

Once again, the arms that held her safe were no longer there. Falling
again, the woman thought that she would surely die. Just then, a set of
arms stretched out from the 7th floor. Not believing her luck, the
woman shouted "I suck! I fuck!"

"Slut..." the man said...and dropped her.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 27 Jun 2005

A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and
the bees.

"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into
tears.

Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. "Oh Pop,"
Johnny sobbed, "for me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter
Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you're telling me
now that grownups don't really fuck, I've got nothing left to believe
in!"

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 24 Jun 2005

A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle
laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The
Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you
one wish, anything you want."

The Russian begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking vodka."
Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so
make me piss vodka."

The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home he gets a
glass out of the cupboard and pisses in it. He looks in the glass and
it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like
vodka. So he takes a taste and it is the best vodka he has ever tasted.

The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come quickly!" She
comes running down the hall and the Russian takes another glass out of
the cupboard and pisses into it. He tells her to drink, it is vodka.
Natasha is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best
vodka she has ever tasted. The two drink and party all night.

The next night the Russian comes home from work and tells his wife to
get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to piss in the two
glasses. The result is the same, the vodka is excellent and the couple
drink until the sun comes up.

Finally Friday night comes and the Russian comes home and tells his
wife, "Natasha, grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink
vodka!"

His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the table. The
Russian begins to piss in the glass and when he fills it his wife asks
him, "But Boris, why do we need only one glass?" Boris raises the glass
and says, "Because tonight my love, you drink from the bottle."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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**********************************************************************

18++ 23 Jun 2005

So the other day, my friends and I went to this "Gentlemans' Club." One
of my buddies wanted to impress us, so he pulls out a $10 bill. The
"dancer" came over to us, and my friend licked the $10 and put it on her
butt. Not to be outdone, my other friend pulls out a $50 bill.

He calls the girl back over, licks the $50, and puts it on her other
cheek. Now the attention is focused on me. What could I do to top that?
I got out my wallet, thought for a minute.....then the banker in me took
over...

I got out my ATM card, swiped it down her crack, grabbed the 60 bucks,
and headed for the door.

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--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 22 Jun 2005

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an
overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their
home lives.

"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged,
"and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much
she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian
responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me
she could never love another man."

When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how
many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once," he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to
you this morning?"

"Don't stop."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 21 Jun 2005

A lady with a prize-winning schnauzer figured that he was going deaf.
He
wouldn't come when she called. When she took him out for a walk he
wouldn't heel like he had been taught to do. As a matter of fact, when
the dog wasn't looking and she called him, he acted like he didn't hear
her at all. So she took him to the vet.

The vet looked the dog over and gave him a complete physical. He told
the lady, "There's nothing wrong with your dog at all. Look here. He has
excessive hair growing in his ears, which led you to believe that he is
deaf. He can't hear you, but he isn't deaf. You can treat this with a
depilatory. I haven't got any in stock, but you can get some 'Neet' or
'Nair' at your local pharmacy. This will work just as well as the doggy
brand will."

So the lady went to the nearest store and picked up a small bottle of
Nair and looked over the instructions. There was nothing on the carton
that related to her dog so she took it to the druggist and asked his
advice. "How do I apply this product", she asked. "Do I put it on right
out of the bottle or do I dilute it or what?"

The druggist said, "For your legs, put it on straight. Right out of the
bottle. For your underarms, I recommend that you dilute it 50-50 with
water."

She said, "I don't think that you understand. It's for my schnauzer."

"Oh," said the druggist. "In that case, I suggest that you dilute it 3
to 1 with water. And by the way, I wouldn't ride a bicycle for a few
days."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 20 Jun 2005

The Top 10 Reasons Why Sex Is Better Than School:

10. Everbody likes sex and nobody likes school, except for
virgins and only because they haven't had sex yet.

9. Sex sucks, moans, licks, pumps, throbs etc..., school
just sucks.

8. After sex you feel like smoking a cigarette. After school
you feel like smoking something a whole hell of a lot
stronger.

7. You only get disciplined during sex if you want to.

6. Drinking drives people to sex, whereas school drives
people to drink.

5. Sex releives stress, school is the cause of
stress.

4. Nothing beats the "hands on" experience you get with
sex.

3. After sex you feel like you have accomplished
something.

2. Sex is cheaper. Even if you have to pay for a
hooker, it is still cheaper than paying thousands of
dollars in tuition.

And the Number 1 reason why sex is better than
school is.........

1. At least you have a choice whether or not you
want to have sex. At school your teachers screw you
regardless!!!

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 17 Jun 2005

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The
little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says,
"Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."

The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five bucks you can't. It's too
wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of
hairspray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board.
Then he stuffs the worm back into the hole.

The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hairspray
and runs into the house.

Thirty minutes later, the grandfather comes back out and hands the
little boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you
already gave me five bucks."

The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your grandma."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 16 Jun 2005

A guy goes to the tattoo parlor and offers the tattoo artist $1,000 to
put a $100 bill on his willie. The artist agrees, but is curious and
asks the man why he wants to do this.

The man replies, "I have my reasons which I would rather not tell
right now".

So, the artist goes ahead and does the job. But, all the while he is
anxious with curiosity over why this man wants a $100 bill on his
penis. So, he tells the man that he really needs to know the reason
why and says that the man can keep the $1000 he would have paid for
the tattoo if he would just tell the reason for putting a $100 bill
on his willie.

So, the man consents and offers these three reasons:
"First, I like to play with my money.
Second, I like to watch my money grow.
And third, and most importantly,
the next time my wife wants to blow $100, she can stay home to do it!

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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18++ 15 Jun 2005

A guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger walked up to him and asked,
"If you woke up in the woods and scratched your butt and felt vasoline,
would you tell anyone?"

"Hell no!" the guy said.

The stranger then asked, "If you felt further into your crack and pulled
out a used condom, would you tell anyone?"

The man said, "Of course not."

"Wanna go camping?"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 14 Jun 2005

Jim and Johnny die in a boating accident. Jim goes to heaven and Johnny
goes to hell. One day Jim looks down at Johnny in hell. Johnny has a
beer in his hand and a blonde on his lap. Jim gets pissed off, so he
goes to God and says, "What is this? I think I want to go to hell. Just
look at my friend down there."

God says, "Look closer. The beer has a hole in the bottom, and the
blonde doesn't."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 13 Jun 2005

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station.
They approached the gas pumps and one of them said to it " Greetings,
Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader".

The gas pump of course did not respond. The alien repeated the greeting
and there was still no response. Annoyed by what he perceived as the gas
pump's haughty attitude the alien drew his ray gun and said impatiently,
"Greetings Earthling, we come in peace. How dare you ignore us this way?
Take us to your leader or I will fire."

The other alien shouted to his companion, "No, you must not anger
him....", but before he could finish his warning the first alien fired.
There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the
desert where they landed in a heap.

When they finally regained consciousness the one who fired turned to the
other one and said "What a ferocious creature. It nearly killed us. How
did you know it was so dangerous?"

The other alien answered, "If there is one thing I have learned in my
travel around the galaxy it's if a guy has a penis he can wrap around
himself twice and then stick in his own ear, you don't screw around with
him."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 10 Jun 2005

ODE TO A MAMMOGRAM

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts,
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them, And give them monthly tests.

So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And always wore my bra.

After 30 years of astute care,
My doctor found a lump.
She ordered up a mammogram,
To look inside that lump.

"Stand up very close" she said.
As she got my boob in line,
"And tell me when it hurts," she said.
"Ah yes! There, that's just fine."

She stepped upon a peddle.
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate pressed down and down, My boob was in a vise!

My skin was stretched and stretched, From way up under my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed, To Swedish pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vice-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!

"Take a deep breath", she said to me, Who does she think she's kidding?
My chest is mashed in her machine, And woozy I am getting.

"There, that was good", I heard her say As the room was slowly swaying.
"Now let's have a go at the other one".
Lord have mercy, I was praying.

It squeezed me from up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides,
I'll bet she's never had this done,
Not to her tender little hide!

If I had no problem when I came in, I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have popped, Ker-pow!

This machine was designed by man,
Of this I have no doubt,
I'd like to stick his balls in there.
And see how they come out!

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
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**********************************************************************

18++ 9 Jun 2005

A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell. The wife answers.
"Hi, is Tony home?" "No, Chris, he went to the store." "Well, do you
mind if I wait?" "No, come on in."

They sit down and the friend says, "You know Sara, you have the greatest
breasts I've ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see
one." Sara thinks about this for a second and figures, what the hell, a
hundred bucks is a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows him one.
He thanks her and promptly throws a hundred bucks on the table.

They sit there a while longer and Chris says, " They are just so
beautiful! I've got to see them both. I'll give you another hundred if I
could just see them both together."

Sara says what the hell, opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long
look. Chris thanks her and throws another hundred bucks on the table and
says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves.

A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says, "You know, your weird
friend Chris came over." Tony thinks about this for a second and says,
"Well, did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 8 Jun 2005

Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten
out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her
daughter constantly calls her and urges her to get back into the world.

Finally, Sadie agrees to go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter
immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet."
Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after
dating for six weeks he asks her to join him for a weekend in the
Catskills. And we know what that means.

One room and the normal follow up to that. Their first night there she
undresses. There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties.
He in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks "Why the panties?"

She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore,
but down there I am still in mourning." He knows he's not getting lucky
that night. The following night the same scenario. Her standing there
with the black panties on and he in his birthday suit; except that he
has an erection on which he has a black condom.

She looks at him and asks, "What's with this... a black condom?"

He replies, "I'm going to offer my condolences."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 7 Jun 2005

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. He finally gets himself to the doctor. He says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin in every way."

The doc said, "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage and wired it all together. It was an impressive work of art.

The guy mentions none of this to his girlfriend. They marry and on their honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he ever saw them. She says, "You are the first, no one has ever touched these breasts."

He pulls down his pants, whips it out and says, "Look at this, it's still in the crate!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive. Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 6 Jun 2005

On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised. While the
passengers were unloading, to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady
stopped and whispered in his ear, "Driver, I believe that I was
sexually harassed!" The driver didn't think much of this complaint, but
promised he would check into it soon.

Later, that very same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a
second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I
believe I was sexually harassed!" This time, he knew it had to be taken
care of soon. A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided
to
go back and question them, to see if they had any knowledge of what was
going on.

He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor underneath the
seats and stooped down to question him. "Excuse me, sir, could I help
you?" The elderly man looked up and said, "Well, sonny, you sure can.
I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it. I thought I'd located it
twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine's parted on the
side!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 3 Jun 2005

Dear Wife: You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have
certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise
happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or
offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at
the Grand Hotel with my 18-year old teaching assistant. Sincerely, Your
Husband

I'll be home before midnight.

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him
that read as follows:

Dear Husband: You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you receive
this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year old pool
boy. Since you are a mathematician, you will appreciate that 18 goes
into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore don't wait up. Your
Wife

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 2 Jun 2005

A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing
where a young couple was engaged in oral sex.
"Back ladies, back!" cried the leader. "There's a very
dangerous beast out there!"
But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less
seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what
it was the couple was doing.
"Well, err.... if you must know, uh, they were practicing a
brand new form of artificial respiration... yeah, that's it, it's
artificial respiration!"
"WOW!" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I know which
merit badge I'm gonna try for next!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 1 Jun 2005

Marry Lou and Peggie Sue were on the field, harvesting some carrots
for lunch. Marry Lou pulls out of the ground a giant carrot, at least 17
inches long, very thick, earth flowing down from it's many secondary
roots.

"See, Peggie Sue, this carrot's EXactly like my man's dick!"

"My oh my, Marry Lou, is Bubba's dick THAT big?"

"No, Peggie Sue, but sure is THAT dirty!!!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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JOKE OF THE DAY
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As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
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WORTH READING
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Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
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