18++ 31 Aug 2005

There was a man who had just gotten married and was spending his wedding
night with his new wife in a very posh hotel. It was to be the first
time that he had ever had sex with his partner, indeed he had never even
seen her nude.

As they were both undressing, he looked up from taking off his socks to
notice that she did in fact have very large breasts. He said as much to
her, but the poor girl, who had always had a bit of a complex about
them, got very distraught. So much so that she sent him, blanket in
hand, to go and sleep in the corridor.

The man was pretty upset at this, but, not wishing to fuel her anger
further, did as he was told.

Just as he was getting off to sleep, another man came into the corridor
and joined him. The first man asked the second why he was out there, to
which the second replied that he was also on his wedding night and had
never had the pleasure of seeing his new wife's body before either.

When she was undressing, he had complemented her on having a rather
large bum. She hadn't been impressed with his comment, and had ordered
him to go and sleep in the corridor.

It wasn't long before jilted honeymooner number three sulkily sauntered
along to join the other two.

"What's wrong with you?" Asked the first. "Did you put your foot in it
as well?"

"No," replied the third, "but I bloody well could have..."

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JOKE OF THE DAY
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WORTH READING
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of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
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18++ 30 Aug 2005

Though the walls of our apartment complex aren't particularly thin, the
floors and ceilings act as amplifiers. One night, several months ago,
my wife and I were lying in bed. Noticing the repeated constant sound
of a bed scooting along the floor and a headboard banging against a
wall, we became aware that the occupants of the bedroom directly were
doing more than tossing and turning in their sleep. This went on for
some time. Later we described the event to our friends.

US: "For the first five minutes, it was funny and kind of
embarrassing that we could hear them so well.
"After about ten minutes, it became really annoying.
"After fifteen minutes, it was getting very frustrating because it was
keeping us from going to sleep..."
FRIENDS: "And then?"
US: "And then after twenty straight minutes...Okay, after twenty
minutes it was pretty damn impressive.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 29 Aug 2005

The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a
minor malady. For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself,
irritating both staff and the other patients, demanding attention and
expecting his every order to be followed immediately. He was in a
six-man ward rather than a private room, his meals were too cold or not
served to suit his taste, the light needed to be adjusted to his
demands, the nighttime activities interfered with his rest... and on,
and on.

One afternoon an orderly entered the room. "Time to take your
temperature, General."

After growling at the orderly, the general opened his mouth to accept
the thermometer.

"Sorry, General, but for this test we need your temperature from the
other end."

A whole new barrage of verbal abuse followed, but the orderly was
insistent that a rectal temperature was what the test called for.

The general at last rolled over, bared his rear, and allowed the orderly
to proceed. The orderly then told the general, "Stay exactly like that
and don't move. I'll be back in five minutes to check up on you" and
withdrew.

An hour later, the head nurse entered the room, saw the general with his
bare rear in the air and gasped, "What's going on here?"

"Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" the
general barked.

"Yes I have, General, but with a daffodil?"

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As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
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ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 26 Aug 2005

There was once this guy and a girl in a car, parked neatly on Makeout
Ridge, and they were, well, doing the obvious. So, here they were, naked
as jay birds, when the guy suddenly says: "I need a cigarette."

"But honey," his lover says. "The store closes in two minutes. You'll
never have time to get to the store, and get dressed."

"That's okay," He quipps. "I'll just run down there naked, and if anyone
sees me, I'll pretend I'm a statue."

So the young man ran down to the store, got two packs of cigaretts (this
store was obviously in a heavy nudist area or something), and starts to
run back. The car is in sight, and he has a few more yards to go, when
all of the sudden three nuns round the corner. He panics, and freezes
like a statue, his beloved cigarettes in one hand.

The first nun walks over to the young man. "Oh! What a beautiful
cigarette dispenser!" She exclaimed. She sticks a quarter up his ass,
pulls on his dong, and he drops a pack of cigarettes in utter disbelief.

The second nun strolls over. "What an interesting cigarette dispenser! I
must try it, too." She sticks a quarter up the young man's ass, chokes
his chicken, and he drops the other pack of cigarettes.

The third nun was the unimpressed sort. She strode up, stuck a quarter
up the young man's ass, and yanked his monkey. Nothing happened. She
pulled on his Element of Adam again. Nothing happened. She tried a third
time, and her eyes widened with sudden realization and suprise.

"Oh, I get it! A lotion dispenser!"

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 25 Aug 2005

Sam had been in the computer business for 25 years and was finally sick
of the stress. He quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Vermont as
far from humanity as possible.

Sam saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month.
Otherwise, it was total peace and quiet. After six months or so of
almost total isolation, as he was finishing dinner, someone knocked on
his door. He opened it and there was a big, bearded Vermonter standing
there.

"Names Enoch... Your neighbor from four miles over the ridge... Having a
party Saturday... thought you'd like to come."

"Great," says Sam, "after six months of this, I'm ready to meet some
local folks. Thank you."

As Enoch is leaving, he stops, "Gotta warn you, there's gonna be some
drinkin'."

"Not a problem... after 25 years in the computer business, I can drink
with the best of 'em."

Again, as he starts to leave, Enoch stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be
some fightin' too."

Damn, Sam thinks... tough crowd. "Well, I get along with people. I'll be
there. Thanks again."

Once again Enoch turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these
parties, too."

"Now that's certainly not a problem" says Sam, "Remember, I've been
alone for six months! I'll definitely be there ... by the way, what
should I wear?

Enoch stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna
be the two of us."

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 23 Aug 2005

A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The
mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several
wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.

The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which
point the daughter asks her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies
waiting for by that corner?", to which the mother replies, "Those ladies
are waiting for their husbands to come home from work."

The cabbie, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says,
"Ahhhhhhh, C'mon lady!!!! Tell your daughter the truth!!!! For crying
out loud. They're hookers!"

A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, "Mommy,
do the ladies have any children?"

The mother replies, "Of course dear. Where do you think cabbies come
from?"

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
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**********************************************************************

18++ 22 Aug 2005

On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three
sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the
window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was lying
dead in the field.

The situation looked hopeless to her -- how could she possibly continue
to feed her family now? In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself.

When the man awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too
began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in
the head.

Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow!),
and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself. When he got to
the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank.

She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if
you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your
parents and the cow to you."

The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to
satisfy her again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river.

Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had happened,
he too decided to throw himself into the river. The mermaid said to him,
"If you will have sex with me ten times in a row, I will make everything
right."

And while the son tried his best (seven times!), it was not enough to
satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river.

The youngest son woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in the
field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a hopeless
prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself in. And there
he also met the mermaid.

"I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if
you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row."

The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?" The
mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request.

Then he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?" And even as
she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said, "Why not THIRTY
times in a row?"

Finally, she said, "Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty
times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health."

Then the young son asked, "Wait! How do I know that thirty times in a
row won't kill you like it did the cow?"

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 18 Aug 2005

An Artsy Pose

Doug went to a psychiatrist and said, "Doc, I'm really worried about
my wife. Yesterday she posed for a nude picture."

The psychiatrist said, "Well I wouldn't worry about that. It's
probably just an expression of her interest in art. What was the nude
picture for?"

"Her driver's license," answered Doug.

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 17 Aug 2005

There once was five year old boy who enjoyed playing with his train set.
One afternoon, his mother happened to be standing by the door listening
to the boy play.

She was shocked when she heard him saying, "All right, all of you son of
a bitches who want to get on the train, get on train. And all of you son
of a bitches who want to get off the train, get off the train. And all
of you son of a bitches who want to change seats, change seats now
'cause the train's getting ready to leave. Whoo whooooo."

The mother was just devastated, so she scolded her son and said to him,
"Now son, I want to go upstairs and take your nap, and when you get up,
you can't play with your train set for two hours."

So the boy took his nap and didn't even mention his train set for two
hours. After the two hours were up, the boy asked his mom if he could
play with his train set again. She said yes, and asked him if he
understood why he was punished. He nodded his head yes, and off he went.

The mother stood by door to listen to what her son would say.

The boy sat down to his train set and calmly said, "Whoo whoooooo. All
of you ladies and gentlemen who want to get on the train, get on the
train. All of you ladies and gentlemen who want to get off the train,
get off the train. And all you son of a bitches who are pissed 'cause
the train is two hours late, go talk to the bitch in the kitchen."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 16 Aug 2005

Ok there was this strange man walking down the street in some need of
satisfaction, he walks up to this hooker and he says , "Ok How much?

She goes, "$40 dollars"

He says "$40 dollars! Why so much?"

She says "Well I got something real special you know?"

He says,"Oh yeah, well so do I!"

"what?" She says

"I have a really big toe"

"A what?" She says

So he shows her this huge big toe that he has.

"Oh that is big," She says

He gets an idea, "Hey let's you and me have some fun sex, I'll give you
$20 if you fuck my toe"

She thinks about it and says ok, and they go at it.

A week later the man looks down at his toe and it's really gross the
nail is about to fall off and it's all green and crusty, so he goes to
the doctor.

"Hey doctor what's wrong with my toe?" He moans

The doctor examines his toe and says,"Wow, this is amazing."

"What? What?" He says

"Congratulations says the doctor "You are the first man I've treated
with ghonorhea on the toe."

"Doctor" says the man "Have you ever seen anything like that?"

"Oh, that's nothing" says the doctor "Yesterday some ho came in with
Athlete's pussy."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 12 Aug 2005

This old couple was sitting in their rocking chairs on the back porch
when the old lady reached over and knocked the old man out of his chair.

The old man got up, sat back down in his chair and said "What was that
for?"

The old lady said "That was for 50 years of bad sex."

A couple minutes later the old man reached over and knocked the old lady
out of her chair.

She got up and said "What was that for?"

"That's for knowing the difference."

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But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
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**********************************************************************

18++ 11 Aug 2005

An attractive woman entered a pet shop. When the clerk offered
assistance, she explained that she was recently divorced, and was
looking for a small-ish dog for company.

The clerk explained that the name of the store was 'Exotic Pets' and
that, unfortunately, they did not stock cats, dogs, fish or any
commonplace pets.

He did say, however, that he had something which might be ideal. He took
the woman into a back room. He walked over to a terrarium, and pointed
proudly to a large bullfrog which sat inside it.

"Would that suit your needs?", he asked.

The woman answered, scornfully, that she hardly thought an amphibian
would be a suitable companion.

"Ah", replied the salesman, leering, "but this 'amphibian' has been
carefully trained ... to perform oral sex upon women."

At this the woman's eyes lit up. She eagerly negotiated a price of $500
for the frog, and left with it in her expectant possession.

Arriving home, she drew a bubble bath, poured a glass of champagne and
relaxed in anticipation. When she was thoroughly mellow, she dried
herself, and arranged herself, nude, upon her bed. Parting her thighs,
she placed the frog between them, closed her eyes, and waited.

Nothing happened. She prodded the frog. Still nothing. She moved it up
further toward her body. Nothing. She ordered it to perform. No
response.

After an hour of this frustration, she lifted the phone, and called the
pet shop. When the clerk answered, she complained loudly that she had
been cheated. The clerk apologized profusely, wrote down her address,
and said he'd be right over.

Ten minutes later, he knocked on the door, and the woman answered,
wearing a nightgown.

He asked her to demonstrate the problem. She obliged, by disrobing and
assuming her former position, with the frog in place. The frog made no
movement.

"You see?", she asked, petulantly.

"Yes, I do", said the man.

Then, addressing the frog as he removed his necktie and shirt, he said,
"Now, I'm only going to show you this one more time..."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 10 Aug 2005

A bar had a sign in the window advertising that they needed
a piano player.

A scroungy-looking, old, retired Navy musician entered the
bar and told the bartender he was interested in the job. The
bartender wasn't too impressed with his looks but said, "What
the hell," and pointed the old sailor to the piano in the
corner.

The old musician sat down and started to play the most
beautiful, melodious piece of music the people in the bar had
ever heard. All talk stopped during the song, and when he
stopped, they all applauded. "Hey, man, you're good," said the
barkeep. "What was that?"

I call it, "Drop Them Panties, Woman, It's Gonna Be A Long
Night."

"Interesting title," said the bartender. "Got another?"

The old sailor broke into a foot stompin' honky-tonk piece that
brought the bar patrons to their feet, clapping along until it
was finished, when they again gave him a thunderous round of
applause.

"You are great, man. Really great. What do you call that one?"
asked the bartender.

"That's a little ditty I call, 'I Wanna Spank Yer Bare Butt,
Baby, 'Til You Scream and Holler.' "

The old sailor then turned around on the bench and said, "If
you'll excuse me, I need to use the restroom."

While he was gone, the bartender decided to offer him the job,
starting immediately. When the old musician returned a few
moments later, the bartender said, "If you want the job, it's
yours." He looked down and noticed the old sailor hadn't
"quite" finished his trip to the restroom.

"By the way," he asked him, "do you know your pecker is
hanging out for all the world to see?"

"Know it? Hell, I wrote it!"

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
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**********************************************************************

18++ 9 Aug 2005

It's 8:00 AM at a gambling casino. Two bored dealers are
waiting around for someone to walk up and try their luck at
the craps table. A very attractive lady comes in and wants
to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the
dice. The dealers agree.

She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier
when I'm bottomless."

With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls
the dice while yelling, "Mama needs a new pair of pants!"

She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the
dealers. "YES! I WIN! I WIN!"

With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly
leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded.
Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?"

The other answers, "I don't know. I thought YOU were
watching the dice!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 8 Aug 2005

A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I
can't stop thinking about sex." The Psychologist says, "Well let's see
what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a
picture of?" he asks. The man turns the picture upside down then turns
it around and states, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."

The Psychologist says, "very interesting," and shows the next picture.
"And what is this a picture of?" The man looks and turns it in different
directions and says, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."

The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same
question, "What is this a picture of?" The patient again turns it in all
directions and replies, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."

The Psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with
sex." "Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me
the dirty pictures!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 5 Aug 2005

A couple on their honeymoon make mad, passionate love. Afterward, the
groom reaches over for the bed-side phone.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

"Calling out for a pizza. I'm starved," he replies.

"Lee Trevino wouldn't do that. He'd come back here and make love to me,"
she said.

So, he did. Couple of hours later, he reaches over for the phone on the
bed-side table. "What are you doing?" she asks.

"Calling out for a pizza. Now I'm really starved," he replies.

"Lee Trevino wouldn't do that. He'd come back here and make love to me
again," she said.

So, he did. An hour later, he reaches for the phone. "What are you
doing?" she asks.

"I'm calling Lee Trevino. I wanna find out what's par for this hole."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 4 Aug 2005

A man and a woman meet in a pub and start to chat. He tells her that he
has just got divorced, and when she enquires as to the reason, he
explains that he has always had a liking for 'kinky sex' and that his
ex-wife found it all a bit unpleasant.

The woman replied that she too had recently divorced, and that it was
because she also wanted to have 'kinky sex'. The woman then suggests
that they adjourn to her house and enjoy a session of 'kinky sex'
together.

They eagerly hurry round to the woman's house and go into the lounge.

"Stay here," the woman says, "I'll be back in a minute."

The woman goes upstairs. 15 minutes later she comes back into the lounge
wearing a rubber suit with metal studs, a leather mask, stiletto-heel
boots, and brandishing a large bull-whip.

"Right then," says the man, "I'll be off then."

"Hold on," says the woman, "I thought you wanted have some 'kinky sex'?

"Oh I did," said the man, "I've just fucked your cat and had a shit in
your handbag!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 3 Aug 2005

The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable
bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of
fire,
to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets,
he dove back to safety.

"Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a medal. You
risked your life to save the locations of our secret warehouses."

"Warehouses!?" the private shouted. "I thought you said
whorehouses!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 2 Aug 2005

Usually, anyone who has a dog calls him Rover or Spot or some such name,
I called mine Sex, and it got me into constant trouble.

One day when he was young I took Sex for a walk and he slipped his
collar and ran away. I spent hours looking for him. A policeman came
along and asked me what i was doing in an alley at midnight. I told him
i was looking for Sex.

That was my first court appearance.

One day I went into the town hall to get my dog registered. I told the
clerk I wanted a licence for Sex. He said he would like one too.

When I said that he didnt understand, that it was for a dog. He said
that he didn't care what she looked like.

Again I said that he didn't understand and that I had had Sex since I
was 5 years old. He said that I must have been a strong boy.

When I decided to get married I told the minister that I wanted to have
Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait after the ceremony.

I said that Sex had played a big part of my life and my whole lifestyle
revolved around Sex. He said he didn't want to hear about it and he
would not allow us to have Sex in the church.

I told him all my friends and relatives coming to the church would enjoy
having Sex there. He barred the lot of us and we had to get married in
the Registry Office.

Of course, my wife and I took the dog along with us on our honeymoon and
when I checked into the motel I told the clerk we wanted an extra room
for Sex. The clerk said that every room was for sex.

I said you didn't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night, and the clerk
said "Me too."

When my wife and I divorced we went to court to fight for custody of the
dog. I said, "Your honour, I had Sex before I was married," and he
replied, "Me too."

Well, now I have been thrown in jail, been married, divorced, and had
more darn troubles with that dog than I ever bargained on.

Why, just the other day when I went for my first session with my
psychiatrist she asked me what seemed to be the trouble. I replied that
Sex had died and left my life. It was like losing a friend.

She said: "You should buy yourself a dog."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 1 Aug 2005

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother
asking him to send her a current picture. Too embarrassed to let her
know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts one in half and sends her
the top part.

Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his
grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally
sends the bottom half. He is really worried when he realizes that he
sent the wrong part, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's
eyesight is and hopes she won't notice.

A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says,
"Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style...it makes your nose
look too long."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
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As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
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Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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