18++ 30 Dec 2005

Guys, when you have forgotten that special gift, just write out this
letter longhand, and give it to the little lady... all will be taken
care of.

Dearest (Sweetheart / Snuggle Dumpling / Insurance Policy Beneficiary /
Woman With Whom I Live So People Will Think I'm Straight),

Last night, as you slept, I gazed at your face nestled gently upon your
pillow and wondered (at your beauty / if you would notice I pawned the
bed / when you stopped shaving) - and it makes me realize how inadequate
(a mere present / a lousy diamond / paying my share of the rent this
month) would be in expressing my love for you.

So, let me instead, (Sweetheart / Dear Heart / Goebbels-in-Drag / Sis),
give you my heart, and with it (my soul / my eternal devotion /
something for the rash / an erection the size of a Winnebago / an
erection
the size of a Honda Civic / an erection, just take my word for it),
wrapped
in a bit of sunshine that I have stolen from your smile.

Love and (Kisses / Hugs / Penicillin / The Attached Subpoena),

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Wish you and your family a very happy and prosperous new year 2006.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

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JOKE OF THE DAY
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As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
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WORTH READING
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18++ 29 Dec 2005

A local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster than
the
posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that day he decides to
give
the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.
So he asks the man his name.

"Fred," he replies.

"Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred," the man responds.

When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he
used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a
nutcase
on his hands but plays along with it. "Tell me, Fred; how did you lose
your last name?"

The man replies, "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred
Dingaling. I know, funny last name.The kids used to tease me all the
time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades. When I
got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through
college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my
degree
so I was Fred Dingaling, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor so
I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way
through school and got my degree, so I was now Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.
Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my
assistant.
She gave me VD. So I was Fred Dingaling, MD DDS with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was
Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking
away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as
Fred
Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my dingaling so now I'm just
Fred."

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
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of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 28 Dec 2005

These two guys were driving home across the desert.. and they were in
need of some fuel.

They pass a sign that says, "Free sex with fill-up"

"Hey man" says one guy, "I've heard of that. Let's try it."

So they stop...

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah, fill 'er up"

(a few minutes later)

"That'll be $18.50 please"

"Hey, wait a minute, your sign says free sex with fill-up"

"Oh, why yes it does, but it is conditional.. I am thinking of a number
between one and twenty, what is it?"

The first guy says "Five" and the second guy says "Eight".

"No, I am sorry gentlemen, it was two, well, better luck next time"

The two guys leave and are a bit perturbed...

"Aw man, we were ripped off!"

"Nah, I don't think so, last week my wife went in there twice and won
both times!!"

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 27 Dec 2005

John's girlfriend had long been complaining that she wasn't getting
satisfied, because his dick was too short. And now she had announced
that she was going to leave him, and find a bigger guy. John didn't
think he could stand to lose her, since everything else about their
relationship was wonderful. He begged her to stay with him a little
longer, and he promised he'd figure out something.

She agreed to give him a week. In desperation, John went to see a
doctor, to ask if there was anything that could be done. At first, the
doctor said no, there really wasn't anything that could be done.

When John wasn't convinced, the doctor said well, maybe the new
experimental ... no, better not even consider that. It was too new, and
there wasn't enough information about what might go wrong.

John wasn't having any of that. He said he was desperate, and he'd try
anything, if it would give him a longer penis. After some argument, the
doctor agreed to send him to the university hospital for the operation,
which consisted of attaching the end of a baby elephant's trunk to his
penis, but repeated that he definitely didn't recommend this operation
and wouldn't take any responsibility for the results.

John had the operation, it was a success, and within the week, John was
ready to put his new tool to work. He was really going to surprise his
girlfriend with this thing. She'd be delighted--it was really big!

First he took her out to a fancy restaurant, and they had a perfect
meal. As they were finishing up dinner, John got a devilish idea. He
unzipped his fly under the tablecloth, and took it out.

Then, before he knew what was happening, this "penis" snaked up over the
edge of the table, and started feeling around. It found a hard roll, and
with a little sniffing sound, grabbed the roll, and zipped back under
the tablecloth.

John's girlfriend was delighted! "Can you do that again?" she asked.
John replied, "Uh, I think so, but I don't think my ass can take another
one of those rolls."

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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**********************************************************************

18++ 26 Dec 2005

The abbot of a nearby abbey was out in the nearby city running errands
downtown when he saw a woman of questionable character say to a
passerby, "Twenty bucks for a blowjob," at which point the passerby and
the woman promptly went down the next alley, where they went out of
view.

The abbot was perplexed, for the very same thing occurred at another
streetcorner in the city. He was walking down a sidewalk, when another
woman, much the same as the first, stated to another passerby, "Twenty
bucks for a blowjob," at which point the two rapidly went into a nearby
alley, where the abbot couldn't see what was going on.

Still not knowing what a "blowjob" was, the abbot left the city as naive
as he was upon entering it.

Back up the hill, the abbot was still contemplating what a blowjob was,
so he went to see the mother superior at the adjacent convent. "Mother
superior," he asked, "what's a blowjob?"

"Twenty bucks, same as downtown!"

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 23 Dec 2005

Greg and John, now in their eighties, first met in grade school. Their
relationship now is playing cards, playing jokes and making bets.

One day Greg calls John and says: "I bet you that mine is longer soft
than yours is hard. A thousand dollars!"

John replies, "How can that be? If you know anything about biology
you ... "

Greg interrupts, "I called for a bet, not a lecture. Mine is longer soft
than yours is hard ... a thousand dollars ... YES OR NO?"

John says, "OK OK I'll take that bet. How long is yours soft?"

Greg answers, "Eleven years."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
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from great leaders.

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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 22 Dec 2005

Three conventioneers had finally managed to tire their wives to go back
to the hotel and finally located a house of negotiable affection. The
madam was crestfallen.

"Sorry fellows, all the girls are busy... No one left but me."

"Gee, we spent most of the evening getting rid of our wives and we're
leaving tomorrow, isn't there anything you can do?"

"Well there's always me, I give specials..."

The first guy decided he'd go for it and when he came back downstairs he
had a grin ear to ear.

"How was it? How much was it?"

"It was great! I got the $25 special. She has this can of Readi-Whip and
she sprays it all around and then licks it off, great!"

The second fellow doesn't hesitate, bolts up the stairs and is back
after a while, grinning like the first.

"How was it? How much was it?"

"It was super! I got the $50 special. Same as Jack, the Readi Whip, but
she had some chopped walnuts that she sprinkled on it. Nibbled off the
walnuts and licked off the Readi-Whip, faantaaastic!"

The third could not be constrained, he raced up the stairs and came back
shortly thereafter, chin between his knees.

"Gosh! What happened? What went wrong?"

"Well, I got the $75 special, kinda like what you guys got but she
starts with a pineapple ring. Then there's the Readi-Whip, the chopped
walnuts, but she's got some chocolate sprinkles and a cherry she puts on
top.

Damn! it looked so good I ate it myself..."

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 21 Dec 2005

People have wondered from time to time the reason for an angel on the
top of the Christmas tree.

It seems that one particular Christmas Santa was rushed and harried
trying to get ready for his annual trip to deliver gifts to the world's
children. He told Mrs. Claus to wake him at 5 a.m. and to have his
breakfast ready with a lunch to take along. He then went to his workshop
and told the elves to have all the presents packed in the sleigh and the
reindeer harnessed at 5:30 a.m.

At 5:30 the following morning he awoke and jumped out of bed furious
with Mrs. Claus for not awakening him on time. His mood worsened when he
realized she had fixed neither his breakfast nor his afternoon meal.
Then he ran out to his sleigh only to find that the elves, drunk from
partying all night, had no presents packed and the reindeer were running
loose in the pasture.

About this time a little angel walked by dragging a large Christmas
tree. Santa tried to ignore her since his mood was so foul but the angel
spoke up and said, "Santa what should I do with this Christmas tree?"

And that is why there is an angel on the top of the Christmas tree.

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 20 Dec 2005

A ventriloquist was driving through the midwest when his car broke down.
He walked a ways and found a farmer who would let him use his phone.

Well, the farmer seemed to be a real stereotypical rural type, so the
ventriloquist thought it would be possible to have some fun with him.
The farmer began to lead him back to the house.

Along the way, they passed a horse. The ventriloquist said to the
farmer, "Is this your horse?" The farmer replied, "Yep."

The ventriloquist asked, "Can he talk?" The farmer said, "Nope." The
ventriloquist then said to the horse, "So, how do you like it here?"

He then threw his voice, and said in a horse-like voice, "Oh, it's
pretty good. Every morning the farmer feeds me oats."

Upon hearing this the farmer was startled and quickened his pace.

Soon they came to a cow. The ventriloquist asked, "Is this your cow?"
and the farmer replied, "Yep." He then asked, "Does it talk?" and the
farmer replied, "I..I don't think so."

The ventriloquist asked the cow, "How do you like it here?" and threw
his voice again. In a cow-like voice, he said, "Oh, I like it just fine.
Every morning the farmer comes and milks me."

Upon hearing this, the farmer squirmed. He looked down at the ground and
continued walking.

Soon they came to some sheep. The ventriloquist asked, "Are these your
sheep?" and the farmer replied, "Yep."

He then asked, "Do they talk?" and the farmer exclaimed, "Yes, but they
lie!"

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
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**********************************************************************

Spam: 18++ 19 Dec 2005

There's this couple who are financially strapped. They've been trying to
figure out a way to come up with the money so that they don't lose their
home. The wife didn't have any ideas as to what to do. But the husband
says, "Hey, we could sell you." He said, "I really hate to do this to
you, but we really have no other alternative." She agrees to his idea.

They go downtown, and he tells her to stand there on the corner and
wait. He will watch from across the street to make sure everything is
okay. A few minutes after she was standing there a car pulls up and he
asks, "How much?" She says, "Can you wait a minute? I'll be right back."

So she runs across the street, and says to her husband, "He wants to
know how much, what should I tell him?" The husband says, "Tell him a
hundred bucks."

So she runs back across the street, and tells him, "A hundred bucks."
The man says, "One hundred dollars? That's too much. I don't have a
hundred bucks. How much for a blow job?" She says, "Can you wait a
minute? I'll be right back."

So she runs across the street again, and says to her husband, "He says a
hundred bucks is too much and wants to know how much for a blow job.
What should I tell him?" The husband says, "Tell him thirty dollars."

So she runs back across the street and says to the guy, "30 dollars for
a blow job." He says, "Great! I have 30 dollars." So she gets into the
car and he undoes his zipper and exposes himself to her revealing a 12"
penis.

She looks and says, "Can you please just wait one more minute? I'll be
right back." She gets out of the car and runs across the street and says
to her husband, "Can we loan this guy $70?"

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JOKE OF THE DAY
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As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
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Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
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18++ 16 Dec 2005

Pauly O'Benny comes home and summons his Irish wife and five grown Irish
sons to him and tells them the sad news: "I've just come from the
doctor,
and I have cancer and only three months to live. But... I've led a good
life, and now my sons are I are going down to the Irish tavern and
celebrate life!"

They go into the neighborhood tavern, and O'Benny shouts, "The drinks
are
on me. I've just found out I have AIDS and only three months to live."

And the drinking fest starts. Whenever anyone comes through the tavern
door, O'Benny shouts, "Have a drink on me. I've just found out I have
AIDS and only three months to live."

The youngest son asks his father: "But, Da, you told us at the house
that
you have cancer!"

"SHUSH, boy! I do have cancer, but I don't want the likes of any of
these
sniffin' around your sainted mother after I'm gone!"

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But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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**********************************************************************

18++ 15 Dec 2005

I went to Atlanta after Hurricane Dennis turned out the lights at my
home. I
stayed with my step-son and his girlfriend, Donna. Saturday afternoon,
while
prepping for church I realized I had forgotten to pack a razor. Donna
offered
me one of hers, which I used. Afterwards, she asked me how the shave
went.

I told her: "My face felt smooth in church... but every time I touched
my
face I got an erection."

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from great leaders.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 14 Dec 2005

The preacher's wife was expecting a baby; he went to the congregation
and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they
passed
a rule that when the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.

After six children, this was getting expensive. The congregation held a
meeting to consider the preacher's pay situation. As you can imagine,
there was much yelling and bickering. Finally, the preacher got up and
spoke to the crowd.

Having children is an act of God" he proclaimed.
In the back of the room, a little old man stood and in a frail voice
said
"Snow and rain are also acts of God, but when we get too much of it, we
wear
rubbers".

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 13 Dec 2005

As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave
the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts etc.
Finally, she said "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your
captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your
destination."
Marvin sitting in the 8th row thought to himself, "Did I hear her
right; is the captain a woman? I think I better have a whiskey and
water."
When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he said, "Did I
understand you right? Is the captain a woman?"
"Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female."
"My God," said Marvin, "I'd better have two whiskeys and water. I don't
know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit."
"That's another thing," said the attendant, "We no longer call it the
cockpit. Now it's the box office."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 12 Dec 2005

A man was sitting on a London train eating a bag of fresh shrimps,
ripping off the heads and shells and then throwing them out of the
window. After he had gobbled a few of them down an older woman
opposite him said, "Would you mind not doing that? It's disgusting to watch."

"Listen, love." He replied, "It's got nothing to do with you, I've
paid my fare for this journey and I'll do what I damn well want on this
train." He carried on ripping off the shells, throwing them out of the
window and eating the shrimps. Finally he finished the bag and settled
back for a little sleep.

The woman then started some knitting and all the man could hear while
he was trying to sleep was the incessant clicking of her knitting
needles. After a while, he sits back up and says to the woman, "Could you stop
that noise, can't you see I'm trying to sleep?"

"It's got nothing to do with you," replies the old woman, "I've paid
my fare and I'll do what I want on this train."

At that, the man grabbed the woman's knitting and threw it out of the
window. The woman immediately stood up and pulled the train alarm
cord. The man burst out laughing and said, "Ha ha, you'll get fined £200 for
that!"

To which the old woman replied, "And you'll get six years when the
police smell your fingers."

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive. Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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**********************************************************************

18++ 9 Dec 2005

Duane rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his
name on the group mailbox. While he is there, an attractive young lady
comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Duane
smiles at the young lady and she strikes up a conversation with him.

As they talk, her robe slips open, and it's quite obvious that she has
nothing on underneath. Poor Duane breaks out into a sweat trying to
maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she places her hand on his
arm and says, 'Let's go in my apartment, I hear someone coming...'

He goes with her into the apartment, and after she closes the door, she
leans against it allowing her robe to fall off completely. Being
completely nude, she purrs at him, 'What would you say is my best
feature?'

The flustered, embarrassed Duane stammers, clears his throat several
times, and finally squeaks out, 'Oh, it's got to be your ears!'

She's astounded.

'Why my ears? Look at these breasts! They are full, don't sag, and
they're 100 percent natural. My buns - they are firm and do not sag, and
have no cellulite. Look at this skin, no blemishes or scars. Why in
heaven's name would you say my ears are the best part of my body?'

Clearing his throat once again, Duane stammers, 'Outside when you said
you heard someone coming? That was me.'

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 8 Dec 2005

Maria just got married and being a traditional Italian she was still a
virgin and very inexperienced around men. So, on her wedding night,
while staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother
reassured her.

'Don't worry Maria,' says the mother. 'Tony's a good man. Go upstairs
and he'll take care of you.' So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony
took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest.

Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a
big hairy chest.'

'Don't worry, Maria,' says his mother. 'All good men have hairy chests.
Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.' So up she went again. When
she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy
legs.

Again Maria ran downstairs to her mother. 'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his
pants and he's got hairy legs.'

'Don't worry Maria. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go
upstairs and he'll take good care of you.' So, up she went again. When
she got up there, Tony took off his socks, and on his left foot he was
missing the better part of three toes.

When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a
foot-and-a-half.'

'Stay here and stir the pasta,' says the mother. 'This is a job for
Mama!'

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 7 Dec 2005

Mr. Reiss got himself a new secretary. Maggie was young, sweet and
polite.

One day while taking dictation, Maggie noticed his fly was open and, on
leaving the room, she said "Oh, Mr Reiss, did you know that your
barracks door is open?"

He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down
and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his
new secretary.

Calling her in, he asked "By the way, Miss Bolt, when you saw my
barracks door open this morning, did you see a soldier standing at
attention?"

She was quite witty. "Why, no, Mr. Reiss" she replied. "All I saw was a
disabled veteran sitting on two old duffel bags."

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--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 6 Dec 2005

Mother is in the kitchen making supper for her family when her youngest
daughter walks in.

Mother, where do babies come from?

Well dear...a mommy and daddy fall in love and get married. One night
they go into their room...they kiss and hug and have sex. (The daughter
looks puzzled.) That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy's
vagina. That's how you get a baby, honey.

Oh I see, but the other night when I came into you and daddy's room you
had daddy's penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?

Jewelry, dear.

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 5 Dec 2005

A week after their marriage, the Redneck newlyweds paid a visit to their
doctor.

"I can't figure it out doc, and I'm really worried," said the husband.
"My testicles are turning blue."

"That's pretty unusual," said the doctor. "Let me examine you." The
doctor
takes a look. Sure enough, the Redneck's testicles are blue.

The doctor turns to the wife. "Are you using the diaphragm that I
prescribed?

"Yes, I am," she replied.

"And what kind of jelly are you using with it?

"Grape."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
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18++ 2 Dec 2005

A very sad event occurred last night: the Energizer Bunny, after going
and going for so long has unfortunately passed away.

The official medical report states that Mr. Bunny died from a Heart
Attack brought on by sexual over stimulation.

It seems that someone had put his batteries in backwards and he kept
coming...and coming...and coming......

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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WORTH READING
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