18++ 25 Feb 2005

Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their
physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was
surprised to discover that both of them possessed
incredibly long, oversize penises. "How do you account
for this?" he asked the brothers.

"It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied.

"I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's
the reason for your elongated penises?"

"No sir, our mother."

"Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!"

"I know, sir," replied the recruit, "but she only had one
arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub,
she had to manage as best as she could."

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JOKE OF THE DAY
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As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
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WORTH READING
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of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
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18++ 24 Feb 2005

Box of Tampons

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The
nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to
the register for check-out.

The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"

The nine year old replies "Nope, not for my mom."

Without thinking, the cashier responded "Well, they must be for your
sister then?"

The nine year old quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either."

The cashier had now become curious "Oh. Not for your mom and not for
your sister, who are they for?"

The nine year old says "They're for my four year old little brother."

The cashier is surprised "Your four year old little brother??"

The nine year old explains, "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one
of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can't do
either of them!"


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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 23 Feb 2005

A gay guy walks into a barber shop.

He says to the barber. "Sir how can I make hair grow on my chest?"

The barber replies, "Go home and put Vaseline on your chest real
thick..."

That night the young man does as the barber told him. His partner climbs
into bed and reaches over to hold him and feels the slime on his
chest..he says, "What the hell is this?"

The other man replies, "The barber told me that if I put Vaseline on my
chest hair would grow..."

His partner replies, "You stupid son of a bitch, if that were the case
you would have a damn pony tail hanging out of your ass."


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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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**********************************************************************

18++ 22 Feb 2005

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the
other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go
home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I
get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I
take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I
get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes
up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the
wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the
steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my
wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ....and she's always sound
asleep."


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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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**********************************************************************

18++ 21 Feb 2005

Phil wanted a new birth control method and his doctor suggested a
vasectomy. Phil agreed and the doctor said he could perform the
operation in his office. At a crucial moment during the procedure one of
Phil's testicles fell to the floor, and the nurse, who was wearing high
heels, accidentally stepped on it and crushed it. The doctor noticed a
jar
of pickled onions on his nurse's desk and realized it was the right size
and weight, so he placed it in Phil's scrotum and completed the
operation.
A few months later, Phil returned for a check up. When the doctor asked
how things were going, Phil replied. "Pretty good, Doc. At least my
wife's
not pregnant, but there are some strange side effects. Every time we
make
love, my wife gets heartburn; when I pee my eyes water; and whenever I
pass a hamburger stand, I have an erection."


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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 18 Feb 2005

A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to
the bedroom and found his wife with the sheet pulled over her
head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the horny husband crawled
under the sheet and proceeded to make love to her.

Afterward, as he hurried downstairs for something to eat, he was
startled to find breakfast on the table and his wife pouring
coffee.

"How'd you get down her so fast?" he asked. "We were just making
love!"

"Oh my God," his wife gasped, "That's my mother up there! She
came over early and had complained of having a headache. I told
her to lie down for awhile."

Rushing upstairs, the wife ran to the bedroom. "Mother, I can't
believe this happened. Why didn't you say something?"

The mother-in-law huffed, "I haven't spoken to that jerk for
fifteen years and I wasn't about to start now!"


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But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 17 Feb 2005

A good-looking gal walks into the local tavern, The Cock and Bull, and
sees a good-looking cowboy sitting down with his exceptionally large
boots propped up on the table. "Is it true what they say about men who
have big feet?" she asks. "Sure is," the guy replies. "Why don't you
come
back to my place and see for yourself."
"What the hell," our gal says.

They spend the night at his place and the next morning the gal hands the
cowboy a $100 bill. "I'm flattered," the cowboy says. "I've never been
paid for my services before."
"Don't be," she says. "Use the money to buy a pair of boots that fit!"


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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 16 Feb 2005

Lucky is in the midst of a long dry spell in Las Vegas. Eventually he
gambles away all his money and has to borrow a quarter from another
gambler just to use the men's room. He finds a stall that happens to be
open and pockets the quarter.

Believing that his luck has finally changed, he puts the quarter in a
slot machine and hits the jackpot. He takes his winnings and goes to the
blackjack table and turns his modest winnings into a million dollars.

Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Izzy goes on the lecture circuit,
where he tells his incredible story. He tells his audiences that he will
always be eternally grateful to his benefactor and if he ever finds the
man he will share his fortune with him.

After months of speaking, a man in the audience jumps up and says, "I'm
that man. I was the one who gave you the quarter."
"Yes, I remember you well, but you aren't the one I'm looking for. I
mean
the guy who left the door open!"


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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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**********************************************************************

18++ 14 Feb 2005

The middle-aged secretary had never been married and had had enough of
work, as well as the single life. It was no secret that she was looking
to get married. As she came back from her lunch hour with another bag
from the drug store, a co-worker said, "In the past 3 weeks you've
bought
enough birth control pills to last a year, lots of vaginal foam,
flavoured douches, several diaphragms and Lord knows how many condoms.
And you don't even have a boyfriend. Whom are you trying to seduce?" She
smiled slyly and replied, "The pharmacist, silly."


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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
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**********************************************************************

18++ 10 Feb 2005

One of the city's top cardiac specialist died. At his funeral, the
coffin
was placed in front of a huge mock-up of a heart made up of red flowers.
When the pastor finished with his sermon and after everyone said their
good-byes, the large heart opened. The coffin rolled inside and the
heart
closed again. At that moment, one of the mourners burst into a fit of
laughter. Irriated by his insensitivity, the guy next to him asked, "Why
are you laughing, Buddy?"
"I was just thinking about my own funeral," the man replied. "I'm a
gynecologist


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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

18++ 11 Feb 2005

A father from Italy is visiting his son in America for the very first
time. They are at the local supermarket going up and down the aisles.

Dad: "E questo cos'è, succo d'arancia in polvere?" ("What's this,
powdered orange juice?")

Son: "Yeah, Dad. You just add water, and you have fresh orange juice!"

A few minutes later, in a different aisle the father says: "E questo
cos'è, latte in polvere?" (And what is this, powdered milk?")

Son: "Yeah, Dad. You just add water, and you have fresh milk!"

A few minutes later, in a different aisle the father says: "E guarda
questo. Bambino in polvere! Che paese! Ti tolgono il divertimento da
qualunque cosa!" (And look here. Baby Powder! What a country! They take
the fun out of everything!")


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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive. Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
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**********************************************************************

18++ 9 Feb 2005

At a party a guy cornered a girl and whispered something in her ear.

"You filthy pervert!" she shrieked. "What makes you think I'd let
you do a thing like that to me?"

Then her eyes narrowed and she said, "Unless you're the
s.o.b. that stole my diary..."


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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/


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18++ 8 Feb 2005

Marsha completed four weeks of dental restoration with
Dr. Morris Cohen the dentist.

She confided to her best friend that she had fallen in love
with her dentist ...and she was going to propose to him.

Her friend said, " Marsha you're 34 years old, you're beautiful,
you have dozens of men that adore you.  Why this dentist?"

" Because he is the  First man that ever said to me....
....SPIT, don' t SWALLOW. "
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @     http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive. Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @     http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @     http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************

"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."

**********************************************************************

18++ 7 Feb 2005

An old man turned 96 and was being interviewed by a reporter for the local
paper. During the interview the reporter noticed that the yard was full of
children of all ages playing together. A very pretty girl of about 19
served the old man, and the reporter, keeping them in fresh tea and
running errands for them.

"Are these your grandkids?" the reporter asked.

"Naw, sir, they all be my younguns," the old man replied with a sly grin.

"Your kids?" said the reporter. "What about this beautiful young lady who
keeps bringing us tea? Is she one of your children too?"

"Naw, sir," said the old man. "She be my wife."

"Your wife?" said the surprised reporter. "But she can't be more than 19
years old."

"Thass right," said the old man with pride.

"Well, surely you can't have a sex life with you being 96 and she being
only 19," the reporter remarked.

"Naw, sir, " said the old man. "We have sex every night. Every night two
of my boys helps me on it, and every morning six of my boys helps me off."

"Wait just one minute," said the newspaperman. "Why does it only take two
of your boys to put you on, but it takes six of them to take you off?"

"Cause," the spry old man said with a tight fist,
"I fights 'em."
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @     http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive. Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @     http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @     http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/



******************Legal Disclaimer**************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
****************************************************************

18++ 4 Feb 2005

An old man turned 96 and was being interviewed by a reporter for the local
paper. During the interview the reporter noticed that the yard was full of
children of all ages playing together. A very pretty girl of about 19
served the old man, and the reporter, keeping them in fresh tea and
running errands for them.

"Are these your grandkids?" the reporter asked.

"Naw, sir, they all be my younguns," the old man replied with a sly grin.

"Your kids?" said the reporter. "What about this beautiful young lady who
keeps bringing us tea? Is she one of your children too?"

"Naw, sir," said the old man. "She be my wife."

"Your wife?" said the surprised reporter. "But she can't be more than 19
years old."

"Thass right," said the old man with pride.

"Well, surely you can't have a sex life with you being 96 and she being
only 19," the reporter remarked.

"Naw, sir, " said the old man. "We have sex every night. Every night two
of my boys helps me on it, and every morning six of my boys helps me off."

"Wait just one minute," said the newspaperman. "Why does it only take two
of your boys to put you on, but it takes six of them to take you off?"

"Cause," the spry old man said with a tight fist,
"I fights 'em."
------------------------------------------------------------------
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @     http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive. Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @     http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @     http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/



******************Legal Disclaimer**************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
****************************************************************

18++ 3 Feb 2005

Two military policemen were chasing a fleeing draftee from the
military base. The draftee ran into the courtyard of a convent.
He saw a nun seated on a round bench beneath a tree, quietly
reading a book.

He said to her, "Quick sister, please hide me I don't want to be
drafted, and the M.P.'s are chasing me!"

She lifted up her skirt and said, "Quick hide under here."

The two policemen came by and asked if she had seen anyone. She
replied, "No."

After they left she told the young man to come out and that every-
thing was going to be OK. He thanked her and said, "You have a
nice set of legs for a nun!"

She replied, "If you reach up a little farther you'll find a nice
set of balls, too. I'm not going to be drafted either!"
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @     http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive. Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @     http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @     http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/



******************Legal Disclaimer**************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
****************************************************************

18++ 2 Feb 2005

A Cork radio station (in Ireland) was running a competition - words that
weren't in the Dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would
make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.

DJ:     "96FM, what's your name?"

Caller:         "Hi, me name's Dave."

DJ:     "Dave, what is your word?"

Caller:         "Goan spelt G O A N, pronounced 'go-an'"

DJ:     "We are just checking that (pause) and you are correct, Dave, Goan
is certainly a word not found in the English Dictionary.  Now the next
question, for a trip for two to Bali, is, what sentence can you use that
in that would make logical sense?"

Caller:         "Goan fuck yourself!"

At this point the DJ cuts the caller short and announces that there is no
place for that sort of language on a family show.  After many more
unsuccessful calls the DJ takes the following caller:

DJ:     "96FM, what's your name?"

Caller:         "Hi, me name's Jeff."

DJ:     "Jeff, what is your word?"

Caller:         "Smee spelt S M E E, pronounced 'smee.'"

DJ:     "We are checking that (pause) and you are correct, Jeff, Smee is
certainly a word not found in the English Dictionary.  Now the next
question, for a trip for two to Bali, is, what sentence can you use that
in that would make logical sense?"

Caller:         "Smee again!  Goan fuck yourself!"
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @     http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive. Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @     http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @     http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/



******************Legal Disclaimer**************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
****************************************************************

18++ 1 Feb 2005

The local priest was on the last day of his fishing vacation when he
hooked a big one.  After a protracted struggle he hauled it in - at least
a 20 pounder.

"Wow!" said the guide.  "That's the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen
pulled out of here!"

The priest was a little non-plussed at the language and said "Remember my
son:  I am a man of the cloth.  Please watch your language."

"No Father, that's the kind of fish it is.  A Son of a Bitch fish."

"Your kidding me, right?"

"No joke, Father.  Its actually called a Son of a Bitch.  And they make
great eating."

The next day, when he arrives back at the rectory, he was me by Mother
Superior who told him "Great news!  The Pope accepted our invitation to
eat lunch here when he comes through."

"That is good news.  Tell you what, lets cook up this Son of a Bitch for
him" holding up the fish for her to see.

"Oh, Father.  Please don't use that language."

"No, no.  That's what kind of a fish it is.  Really.  And they are
supposed to be delicious."

"Wonderful idea, Father.  I'll clean it and give it to Brother Francis to
cook - you know how good he is with fish."

Later, she gave it to Francis, and, of course, the same conversation took
place again...."No, really - its called a Son of a Bitch fish....."

The Pope arrived at the appointed time and was served a sumptuous meal and
the fish was truly magnificent.  The Pope complimented everyone on the
meal and asked where they got the fish.

The priest said "I caught the Son of a Bitch on my fishing trip."  The
Pope looked startled.  "And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch" said Mother
Superior. The Pope stared at her wide eyed.  "And I cooked the Son of a
Bitch with a special sauce" announced Brother Francis proudly.

A slow smile crept over the Pope's face.  "Say, you know you fuckers are
all right!"
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @     http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive. Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @     http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @     http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/



******************Legal Disclaimer**************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
****************************************************************