18++ 30 Mar 2007

Little Joey was in class and the teacher was giving a vocabulary lesson.
The word of the day was "indefinitely." She asked if any of the children
could use it in a sentence.

Joey's hand shot straight up, but she chose another student: -
"Indefinitely. The clouds stretched indefinitely across the sky."

"Very good, Veronica. How about another, Timmy?"

"I waited on line for the bus indefinitely"

"Another excellent example. Thank you." Joey was really going crazy and
finally the teacher decided to call on him, he seemed so much to want to
contribute.

"By the way my balls banged against her buttocks I knew I was in
definitely."

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JOKE OF THE DAY
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As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
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WORTH READING
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Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 29 Mar 2007

A gay guy walks into a barber shop.

He says to the barber. "Sir how can I make hair grow on my chest?"

The barber replies, "Go home and put Vaseline on your chest real
thick..."

That night the young man does as the barber told him. His partner climbs
into bed and reaches over to hold him and feels the slime on his
chest..he says, "What the hell is this?"

The other man replies, "The barber told me that if I put Vaseline on my
chest hair would grow..."

His partner replies, "You stupid son of a bitch, if that were the case
you would have a damn pony tail hanging out of your ass."

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 26 Mar 2007

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the
other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go
home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I
get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I
take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I
get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes
up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the
wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the
steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my
wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ....and she's always sound
asleep."

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 23 Mar 2007

There were these twins, Jim and John. Jim was the owner of an old
dilapidated boat. It just so happened that John's wife died the same day
Jim's boat sank.

A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Jim and mistaking him for John
said "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel terrible."

Jim, thinking she was talking about his boat said "Fact is I'm sort of
glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning.
Her bottoms was all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead fish.
She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a
pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, the hole got
bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off
was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I
warned them she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The
fools all tried to get in her at once and she split right up the middle"

The old woman fainted.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 19 Mar 2007

Monica's Fear
A surgeon went to check on his very famous patient after an operation.
She was awake , so he examined her. " You'll be fine," he said. She
asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life
again Doctor?"

The Surgeon seemed to pause which alarmed the girl. "What's the matter
Doctor? I will be alright won't I ?"

He replied, 'Yes , you'll be fine Miss Lewinski. It's just that no one
has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 15 Mar 2007

A rather well proportioned young lady, spent almost all of her vacation
sunbathing on the roof of the hotel.

She wore a bathing suit the first day but, on the second, being a
naturist, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she
slipped out of it for an overall tan.

She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was
lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.

"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the
hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs.

"The hotel doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof but we would very
much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."

"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can
see me up here, & besides, I'm covered with a towel."

"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man.

"You're lying on the dining room skylight."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++ 15 Mar 2007

A young couple, married just a couple of weeks, returned from their
honeymoon to face the beginning of their new lives. The next morning,
the husband woke up, showered, dressed and made his way to the kitchen
where he saw his new wife crying.

So the husband inquired, "What's wrong, Honey?"

"Well, I came down here this morning to surprise you with a big
breakfast, but I can't cook or clean."

The husband smiled his biggest smile and said, "There, there sweetie! I
don't care that you can't cook and clean. Come on up to the bedroom, and
I'll show you what I'd like for breakfast." So, off they went to the
bedroom.

That afternoon, the husband came home for lunch to find his new wife
crying again in the kitchen.

"What's wrong now, Sweetie?"

"Well, the same thing as this morning. I came in here to make you
something for lunch, and I just can't cook."

Again the husband smiled and said, "Why don't you come back up to the
bedroom and I'll have my lunch there!" So off they went to the bedroom
again.

That evening the new husband came home, walked in the house and saw his
new bride buck naked sliding down the banister of the stairs. Up she
ran, and WHOOSH! down the banister. After the third trip up the stairs,
the puzzled husband asked, "What are you doing, Honey?"

She replied with a smile, "Warming up your supper!"

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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18++ 12 Mar 2007

Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed
up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie.

"Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!" she exclaimed.

"No," said the genie, "You have been very bad this year, and because of
this, I can only give you one wish."

"Let's see," says Monica, "I don't need fame, because I have plenty of
that due to all of the media coverage. And I don't need money, because
after I write my book, and do all my interviews, I'll have all the money
I could ever want... I would like to get rid of these love handles,
though. Yes, that's it, for my one wish, I would like my love handles
removed."

Poof! And just like that......

her ears were gone.

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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18++ 9 Mar 2007

A Week in Las Vegas

Three buddies decided to take their wives on vacation for a week in Las
Vegas. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they
returned home and the men went back to work, they sat around at break
and discussed their vacation.

The first guy says "I don't think I'll ever do that again! Ever since we
got back, my old lady flings her arms & hollers, "7 come 11" all night &
I haven't had a wink of sleep!"

The second guy says "I know what you mean...my old lady played blackjack
the whole time we were there and she slaps the bed all night and hollers
'hit me light or hit me hard', and I haven't had a wink of sleep
either!"

The third guy says "You guys think you have it bad! My old lady played
the slots the whole time we were there... every morning, I wake up with
a sore dingy and a butt full of quarters!

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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18++ 7 Mar 2007

Firm Believer
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and
pinched her on her butt and said, "You know if you firmed this up we
could get rid of your girdle." While this was on the edge of
intolerable, she thought, and replied with silence.

The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the tit and
said,"You know if you firmed these up we could ge rid of your bra."

This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by
the dick. With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed
this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the pool man and
your brother.

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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18++ 5 Mar 2007

A visiting professor at the University of Alabama is giving a seminar on
the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many
people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands. "Well, that's a good start. Out of
those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands. "That's really good. I'm really
glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"

About 15 students raise their hands. "That's a great response. Has
anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

Three students raise their hands. "That's fantastic. But let me ask you
one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

One student in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He
takes off glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've
been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have had sex with a
ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student (remember, this is Alabama) replies with a nod and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell
us what it's like to have sex with a ghost."

The student stops mid-aisle and stammers, "Ghost?!? I thought you said
'goats!'"

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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