Friday, May 19, 2006

18++ 19 May 2006

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess
I should see a doctor." His friend said, "don't do that. There's a
computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker & cheaper
than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer
will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it and it
only costs $10.00."

Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine
sample and went to the drug store.

Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and the various lights started
flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which
read:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy labor.
It will be better in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how
it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this
computer could be fooled.

He decided to give it a try.

He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine
samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into
the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the
sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises
and printed out the following analysis:

Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has ringworm.
Bathe him with an anti-fungal shampoo. Your daughter is using cocaine.
Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin
girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking
off, your tennis elbow will never get better.

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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