18++ 27 Jan 2006

Weights and Measures (Male Gender)
----------------------------------
Cyberspeak Conversion Table

"10 inches" The length of a #2 pencil
"very thick" The width of a #2 pencil
"tall" Able to go on the big rides at Disneyland

Weights and Measures (Female Gender)
------------------------------------
Cyberspeak Conversion Table

"weight" Add a small beagle (i.e. 120 lbs. = 150 lbs.)
"bustline" Deflate for 5 seconds (i.e. 40D = 32B)
"shoe size" Add room for toes (i.e. 7 1/2 = 10)

Descriptive (Male Gender)
-------------------------
Cyberspeak Translation

"attractive" Does not induce immediate vomiting or spontaneous internal
combustion
"masculine" Can grow a better mustache than his mother
"sexy" Has a way with animals

Descriptive (Female Gender)
---------------------------
Cyberspeak Translation

"attractive" Has been hit on by an adult male with less than 20% blood
alcohol level (excluding relatives, lighting required)
"feminine" Does not chew plug tobacco or consider bathing to be "sissy
stuff"
"sexy" Can legally belly dance without liability insurance

CYBERSPEAK STANDARD DIALECT

Intellectual Measurement Translations
-------------------------------------
"genius" Agrees with you
"160 IQ" Once outwitted a cocker spaniel
"moron" Disagrees with you
"idiot" Was outwitted by you

Common Acronym Translations
---------------------------
"brb" My mother is in the room
"rofl" Rolling on the floor with Lassie
"lol" Luvin' on Lassie
"roflmao" Lassie and I have decided to get married

Heckler Subdialect Translations
-------------------------------
"check your Terms of Service (TOS)" I want my mommy
"if you don't like it here, leave" I want my mommy
"(yawn)" My brain needs more oxygen, as usual
"heckler of the day" The one who laughs most at your jokes
"cyberbrawl" Twenty HEK's alone in a room, late at night

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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JOKE OF THE DAY
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As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
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WORTH READING
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Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
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