18++ 30 Sep 2008

Yukon Jack

Legend has it that the only men who were more rough and tough than the cattlemen of Texas were the gold prospectors of the Canadian Yukon Territory. Back during the gold rush, a Texan made his way to the Yukon to make his fortune...

Arriving in the Yukon Territory, the Texan went to a local bar for a drink. As he approached the bar, a local prospector approached him. "I hear you're from Texas. Well here in the Yukon, you have to prove how tough you are before we'll accept you as one of us! You have to perform three tasks to prove that you have what it takes to make it up here."

The Texan replied, "Ok. What do I need to do?"

"First, you have to drink a whole gallon of Yukon Jack without coming up for air."

Nodding, the Texan said, "Ok, what next?'

"Next, you have to kill a polar bear with your bare hands!"

After a moment, the Texan said, "Alright, what's the third task?"

"Because they are so scarce, you have to find and make love to an Eskimo woman!"

Without a word the Texan walked over to the bar, picked up a gallon jug of Yukon Jack, and polished off the whole thing without coming up for air! Then he went staggering out into the Yukon night.

Several days went by without any word of the Texan...

Eventually people gave up on ever hearing from him again.

Finally, after two weeks had passed, the Texan came crawling into the bar, covered in scars, bleeding from more than a dozen gashes, and wheezing like a steam engine on its last legs.

Pulling himself into a chair, he turned to the barkeep and asked, "Ok, now where is that Eskimo woman you want me to kill?"

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