18++ 5 Oct 2007

Artificial Insemination

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several
weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls
a veterinarian for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial
insemination.

The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting
to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the
sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing
around and will instead lay down and wallow in the grass when they are
pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion
that artificial insemination means HE has to impregnate the sheep. So,
he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has
sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are
all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take,
and loads them in the truck again.

He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good
measure, brings them back and goes to bed. The next morning he wakes to
find the sheep still just standing around.

One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive
them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon
returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at
the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are
laying in the grass.

"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the
horn."

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