Spam: 18++ 28 Feb 2006

NAME: Expecteria Trouserius (Trouser Snake)

LOCATION: Throughout the world

DESCRIPTION: Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly
venomous
spit. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its
mood
and sub-species.

SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen,
resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling
followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack
is
not usually fatal. It has been known to attack men in the
rear
lower abdomen, resulting in an incurable disease and
consequent
death.

HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in
unusual places.

ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once
the
venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will
ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.

WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED

TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the
body to be affected.

CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective
as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.

SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the victim but
so
far has not been reported to have led to any
success.

MILKING THE SNAKE:

1. Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile,
with the thumb in the front.
2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion.
3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive and start
spitting.
4. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the skill
of the milker and the last time the snake attacked.
5. Once milked the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.

CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is
not
necessarily a vermin and treated with the right respect
will
make a wonderful pet.

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