Monday, June 26, 2006

18++ 26 Jun 2006

You don't want the usual?

A bartender was working the late shift. While he was working, a
beautiful blonde woman walked in and took a seat at the bar.
She ordered up a Coors and sat there drinking for a while.

Suddenly, the woman passed out cold on the stool. The bartender had a
sudden thought, and so he cautiously looked around.

Seeing that no one was around, he closed up the bar, and took advantage
of the situation.

The next night, the bartender was, again, working the late shift, but
some of his friends stopped by, so he told them
about the previous night and his good time with the blonde woman. All of
a sudden, the blonde walks in again. The bartender motions to his
friends that she is the same lady. The
lady sits down at the bar and orders another Coors. Eventually, she
passes out. The bartender closes up shop, and him and all
his friends take their turns.

The next night, the bartender is working the late shift. His friends
show up, with all of their friends, and so there is a huge crowd in the
bar. The woman walks in again, orders a
Coors, drinks it, and then passes out. So, the barender closes up shop,
and everyone has a turn.

The next night, even more people are waiting at the bar. The woman walks
in and orders a Budweiser.

The bartender, his plans foiled, asks, "You don't want the usual?"

She looks at him for a minute and shakes her head. "No. Coors makes my
pussy sore!"

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JOKE OF THE DAY
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WORTH READING
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Friday, June 23, 2006

18++ 23 Jun 2006


White as a Ghost

Two men were out playing golf on a nice Saturday afternoon. They were
getting frustrated, though, because the two women who were playing right
in front of them were quite slow, and were holding up the men's game.

"Don't they know they're supposed to let us play through?" asked the
first man. The other man shook his head. "I'm going to go ask them if we
can play through," said the first man, emphatically, "Enough is enough."

He started walking over toward the women, but as he got close, he
suddenly turned around and came back, white as a ghost.

"Oh God," he said to his friend, "This is awful. You're going to have to
ask those women if we can play through. You see, one
of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress."

The other man shrugged, and said "No sweat." He walked over
toward the women, and just as he was getting close, turned
around and came running back to his pal. His eyes wide open, he
said, "Small world!"

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JOKE OF THE DAY
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As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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Thursday, June 22, 2006

18++ 22 Jun 2006

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end
up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him
around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed
with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along
the floor medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears
on the top shelf.

The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of
teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to
mention this to her. He turns to her... they kiss... and then they rip
each others clothes off and make love.

After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in
the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"
The woman says, "You can have any prize from the bottom shelf."

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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Monday, June 12, 2006

18++ 13 June 2006

Can't Your Father Do That

Little farmboy comes in late for school. Teacher asks why he's late.
Farmboy replies that he had to take the family cow over to the
neighbour's to get her bred by a bull.

Annoyed, teacher demands, "Can't your father do that?" Little farm boy
thinks for a moment: replies, "Well, sure... but the bull can do it
better."

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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Wednesday, June 07, 2006

18++ 7 June 2006

A Male Whale and a Female Whale

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan
when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the
same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.

He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow
out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to
turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over
and quickly sank.

Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and
were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they
were going to get away and told the female "lets swim after them and
gobble them up before they reach the shore."

At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow
him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely
refuse to swallow the seamen!"

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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Thursday, June 01, 2006

18++ 2 June 2006

A man dressed in a suit comes up to the front porch of house juggling a
clipboard, some papers, and a briefcase. He knocks on the door and it's
answered by a middle-aged man, "Mornin' stranger, what can I do for ya?"

"Well sir, I represent Schneller, Barnum, and Holtz. We're paid by
private companies to canvas thousands of consumers like yourself for
feedback on their products. Today we're soliciting comments on Vaseline
petroleum jelly. Would you have time to answer just a couple of
questions?"

"I don't see how a couple of questions could hurt, fire away, young
man," says the homeowner.

Looking down at his clipboard, the survey-taker asks, "Okay...first, you
do use Vaseline, correct?".

"Yes Sir, for as long as I can remember."

"Great, now what exactly do you use it for?" replies the survey-taker
with his pen poised over his clipboard, ready to record the answer.

"Let's see.....we use it for dry skin, chapped lips, and sex."

The well-dressed man stops writing abruptly. He looks around, leans
forward and in a low voice says, "We pride ourselves in being very
thorough sir. I know how you'd use Vaseline for dry skin and chapped
lips. But would you mind telling me how you use it for sex?"

"No problem," the homeowner says in a whisper, "we put it on our bedroom
doorknob."

The survey-taker gets a strange look on his face and takes a step
backwards before the homeowner continues, "It keeps the kids out."

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
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